For all my friends out there who are considerable drinkers, I would like to direct your attention to the 86 rules of boozing. Some of the more interesting (read “important”) include:

5. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.
28. If you can’t afford to tip, you can’t afford to drink in a bar. Go to the liquor store.
30. Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink.
34. If you bring Old Milwaukee to a party, you must drink at least two cans before you start drinking the imported beer in the fridge.
68. If there is a line for drinks, get your goddamn drink and step the hell away from the bar.
73. If you bring booze to a party, you must drink it or leave it.